Love Affair
by thenewestmarauder
Summary: Harry and Hermione find Minerva and Severus in a compromising position. Then all hell breaks loose. AN most of this is for a 3rd flr. corr. class.
1. Chapter 1

What a Day

Harry and Hermione were walking down a corridor when they say something laying in the middle of the hallway.

"Whats with the suitcase?" Harry asked curiously.

"I don't know Harry. Looks like one of those retro, bright colored, 80's like ones. See how its all bright green and has the plaid pattern on it." Hermione said after examining it. "We should take it to Proffessor McGonagall. She has the lost and found bin."

Harry had other ideas though. "Why don't we just look inside, see if there is a name or something to tell us who's it is?"

"Because we don't know what is in there, Harry. What if the thing is cursed?" Hermione reasoned.

"Oh, come on, Hermione. Where is your sence of adventure, of daring. I mean, seriously, Gryffindors go forward. Right?" Harry asked with a mock-serious look on his face.

"That may be true," as Harry wasabout to interupt she continued quickly, "but we can wait. McGonagall will probably open it in front of us anyway."

"Fine," Harry said. "Just thought we could save time you know."

So they went to Proffessor McGonagall's classroom and looked inside. The classroom was dark but they could here a noise coming from the area where her desk normally sat.

"What is that noise, Harry?" Hermione questioned nervously.

Harry listened for a second,_Sounded like one of those 'Mmmmm's people get in pain or pleasure._ Then he answered. "Sounds like either moaning," Harry paused to be rightfully disgusted _McGonagall -moaning -ugh_, then continued, "or groaning. I hope its the second one. Why don't we just leave it and go?"

Hermione wanted to agree. "We could but what if Proffessor McGonagall is hurt and needs our help?" She asked not noticing the sound getting a bit louder.

Harry looked at her and gave her an 'if-I-get-grossed-out-you-owe-me' looks. "Lumos!" Followed immidiately by "Nox! Dear god, you could have locked the door!" Harry exclaimed.

Hermione had turned to the side to hide here blush. She was sure she was glowing in the dark. "Proffessor McGonagall, uhm, Proffessor Snape, ahem, I had no idea. We will just be going then." They made to rush out the door but Proffessor McGonagall stopped them.

"Wait! Please," McGonagall exclaimed. When here two charges stopped, but didn't turn around,she grabbed her wand, put some robes on, and turned the lights back on. "I just want to make sure you keep this to yourself. You will, correct?"

"I am sure they will, Minerva." Snape interjected, "They know spreading rumors could turn out bad for them. Don't you, Potter?"

"Of course. Personally, I think you should obliviate me of this whole traumatic experience." Harry retorted. "Such a sight as you, Snape, would put anyone off their lunch."

Before Proffessor Snape could reach his wand -uh- the other one, you get the point, they left the room and suitcase behind.

"Oh, good. Someone found my suitcase. I lost it on my way here." Snape said walking over to grab it. "I leave my cat in here. The little furball." He said fondly, yes SNAPE said FONDLY, and opened the bag and out bound a bright red cat. Even McGonagall had to say it was hideous, and she absolutely loved cats.

-End-


	2. Chapter 2

What a Day 2

Okay, I didn't end it there god damn it, shut up. Anyway, I am moving on now.

For the rest of the day Severus couldn't keep the grin off his face. _Its been a long time since I had something that good._Thinking things like this was a problem when Dumbledore called him into his office.

"Ah, hello Severus." Dumbledore said cheerfully. "I see your day is going off smashingly. Care to tell me the joke?" He asked amused and curious.

Severus grin didn't falter, and yes he can grin so MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I am warping your fragile little world. "I think someone messed with my chapstick. A cheering potion, I am sure." Severus said then turned to glare at our mostest favoritest author, _How dare you? You're using my first name! You jerk! And you suck. Take that._

Author pops into story to knock Severus down a peg or two to cheers from the assembled readers. "Don't start with me. I am god and can make you meet with Voldemort today. Plus, I can tell Dumbledore why you are happy. What do you think about that?" God said in his most menacing voice possible.

"Oh please," Yes, I made him say please, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, "You can't, he'll make me do Bella, 20 years ago that was okay, you know? She looked hot then." At Gods nod and agreement, _She was a fox back in the day,_he continued, "Today its like dry heavin. Shes hideous. What do you want? I can give you the Granger girl." He said desperately.

When he said that God had to pause, "Hmmm...not a bad idea. She is pretty hot with perfect legs and ass. But what do we do about Harry?"

Dumbledore had to interject here, _My potions master and God are deciding my students love/sex lives, I wanna fuck around too._ "Why not give him the Patil twins? Two for one specials are always nice."

God spoke, "He already fucked that up in fourth year, remember?" Dumbledore looked sad when he remembered. "We can use the two for one, though." Dumbledore brightened at that, "Why notLuna and who else?"

"Why Lovegood?" Snape asked. "And we should give him a slytherin. Maybe Blaise, shes developing nicely."

Dumbledore and God nodded. "I like the way you think. That was a scary thing to say. Anyway, Luna because shes crazy enought to do whatever Harry asks." Sev,yes, I did it, I shortened his name,had to agree with that assessment."Severus, get me Hermione on a silk sheeted bed. I will make it so Harry gets Luna and Blaise. Dumbledore, we need something to fit those three in for there night together." When God said that Dumbledore made a red sleeping bag which God just looked at for a second, "Whatever, that should be good enough. Now lets find Hermione."

And they were off, three grown men and a red sleeping bag. Once they reached the great hall they saw something interesting. "Susan and Voldemort shaggen in the great hall. Hmm, life never ceases to amaze. Not even I knew Susan was an exhibitionist. Lets leave them, Voldemort won't hurt anybody."

"How do you know?" Dumbledore the-all-knowing asked not knowing.

"Because I am the author and God of this story and I say he is good now." God said simply.

Dumbledore and Severus look at each other in realisation, "Ooohhh, of course! I almost forgot."

"Exactly. Now there she is." God said looking down the hall. "Sexy as ever."

"How do we do this?" Dumbledore asked.

"I write the story and get what I want." God said in a matter-of-fact voice. Walking up to Hermione, God waited. When she looked up she immediatly fell in love.

"Love at first sight." She sighed. _Told ya._ God grinned.

"Lets go somewhere private, Mione." On their way to a _private_ location God shouted, "You two take care of Harry."

Severus and Dumbledore grinned, "Lets play with the twerps mind a bit."

After finding Harry in an overly 007 fasion they came up behind him.

"Hey buddy," Severus started.

"How are you doing?" Albus continued.

"We have-" Sev said.

"A suprise for you." Al said, I even got Dumbledores name shortened. God I am good, probably why I am god.

"Take those 2 girls-" Sev said pointing to Blaise and Luna.

"And this sleeping bag-" Al said handing over the bright red sleeping bag.

"And consider us even, James. I helped get your son a two for one special." Severus finished looking at the sky.

Harry looked at them. "You're my heroes." He said dramatically, then raced off with the two to a _private_ spot by the lake.

The next morning five very satisfied people walked into the great hall for breakfast.

End...For Now.


End file.
